I created a rough draft of this post using voice to text and on a whim decided to ask ChatGPT to make it sound like Shakespeare. I was rather amused by the result so I’ve decided to leave it this way.

A Tale of Cheesecloth

Hark! If thou hast ever partaken in the services of ClearPlay or VidAngel, thou knowest well their merit in filtering that which thou wouldst rather not see or hear in film and show. Yet, lo, there lies a grievous fault in their design—thou art not permitted to upload thy own filters. Should thou desire to shield thine eyes from certain scenes, or stop thine ears against foul speech, thou must needs wait upon their servants to enact such changes. A waste, methinks, for what good might be had, if all could craft and share filters for the media they watch!

Thus, I did resolve to create my own solution, and I have named it Cheesecloth. My ambition is to empower the masses, granting them the ability to upload, share, and wield custom filters for films and shows as they see fit. Think, if thou wilt, of Jellyfin, but with a mind to filtering—an instrument by which one may cleanse the media they consume of that which offends the soul.

The Journey Thus Far

My labours have borne some fruit. The first prototype I fashioned, with much assistance from Claude of Anthropic, was an audio filter for profanity. With the aid of OpenAI’s Whisper model, I did craft a system that doth scan through media, finding all profanities with time-stamped precision. And lo, through the use of MPV, I have built a contrivance to silence these foul utterances during the playback of the film. Success hath thus far graced my efforts.

But alas, the next task—filtering the visual content—proves a more challenging beast. For though there are models that can detect nudity, the task of finding those subtler sights—those half-revealed forms—presents a task more insidious. The tools at my disposal are as yet insufficient to accomplish such feats, and thus I must leave that pursuit for another day.

What Lies Ahead

For now, I shall devote mine energies to refining the audio filter. I dream of a humble interface—perhaps but a terminal with simple commands—where users may toggle filters on and off, selecting what content they wish to banish. Think of it, if you please, as VidAngel’s system, but in a form more personal, more within thine own grasp.

And thus, I shall turn my attention to testing these filters with such works as I find in the wild. Leverage, that most intriguing show, is among my chosen. It would delight me to strip away minor profanities and innuendo, not to render it “family-friendly,” but rather to cleanse it of distractions, leaving only the purest essence of the tale.

A Conclusion Most Fitting

Though Cheesecloth is but a fledgling at present, I do find much joy in the progress I have made. For my vision is one of greater liberty—a world in which users can share and apply their own filters to the media they choose. Thus, I shall continue to labour on the audio filter, perfecting it, and in time, mayhap I shall turn my hand once more to the visual, should the fates deem it so.

Until then, I remain steadfast in my quest, and trust that the winds of inspiration shall guide my hand toward ever greater feats.


Thus ends the tale of Cheesecloth—at least, for now.